The internet has made so many things in our lives easier. We have the ability to communicate and find information in an instant. We can share our lives with not only our loved ones, but with other people (other moms!) that we have something in common with anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, right along with the great resources, we also have the ability to very easily be unkind to people. The topic of mom shaming is one that many people have very strong feelings about. It’s something that we talk about often. It’s something that we are quick to jump on someone for. It’s something that we do all the time. I think we can all agree that it is something that needs to stop. How do we work together to stop mom shaming?
What is mom shaming?
Mom shaming. I think we have all heard this phrase by now. In fact, it’s such a popular phrase that it has made it’s way to Urbandictionary.com They define mom shaming as “Criticizing or degrading a mother for her parenting choices because they differ from the choices the shamer would make.”
I see so many moms being ganged up on in Facebook groups, being called out on their own posts, being blocked or deleted. In a world where we put our whole lives on the internet, we are leaving ourselves to be criticized and degraded for every choice that we make.
We shame moms for breastfeeding.
We shame moms for formula feeding.
We shame moms for not picking just one feeding style.
We shame moms for working.
We shame moms for staying home.
We shame moms for working from home.
We shame moms for how they put their kids in the car.
We shame moms for co-sleeping.
We shame moms for sleeping in a different room than their baby.
We shame moms for being open about loss, PPA, and PPD.
We shame moms for keeping their feelings bottled up.
We shame moms for working with MLM’s.
We shame moms for cloth diapering.
We shame moms for using disposable diapers.
We shame moms for giving baby pureed foods.
We shame moms for giving baby junk food.
We shame moms for using crib bumpers.
We shame moms for being against crib bumpers.
We shame moms for drinking too much coffee.
We shame moms for drinking too much wine.
We shame moms for posting too many selfies.
We shame moms for not loving themselves enough.
We shame moms for spending too much money.
We shame moms for being frugal.
WE SHAME MOMS FOR SHAMING OTHER MOMS.
(is bullying a bully really bullying?)
What can we do to stop mom shaming?
Really. I don’t have the answer to this one, so I am truly asking. What can we do to stop this?
We need to stop the shaming, stop the judgment, stop the hate. We need love, support, and acceptance. To any mom who has felt the pain of being mom shamed, I pray for you. To any mom who is guilty of making another mom feel shamed (knowingly or unknowingly), I pray for you.
How do we stop the feeling of judgment, shame, and feelings of inadequacy?
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It is so difficult isn’t it. I never realised that motherhood would be such an unfriendly and competitive sport. Being a mum is tough. Pen x #TriumphantTales
I wish people would stop for a moment and ask themselves before they publish, “could I say this to this person’s face and deal with the direct consequences? ” or maybe think how would I feel if someone said this about me? The internet makes it easy to say mean things without really seeing how it impacts the person. Really, if you can’t say anything nice or if you are unable to engage in constructive criticism written in a kind way then maybe you should not say anything at all.
That’s a great piece of advice, Amy! So many people find it easier to say things online that they wouldn’t say to someone in person. That doesn’t make it ok just because it is easier.
Hi Lexie, ‘talking’ before thinking is a major problem with the ease of the internet. It;s all too easy to pass judgement on people without stopping to think of how those people may feel. People have to start being more tolerant and accepting of differences rather than passing judgement, they may even feel better for it. Sadly I think it’s going to be a bigger problem with the younger generation who have learned to communicate through the internet and don’t think before they type. Fingers crossed I’m wrong (I usually am!).
Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.
I don’t think we will ever stop people judging each other but perhaps doing what we are doing (sharing our stories) will help make people understand more. I certainly hope so… Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉
I think all we can do is raise awareness at this point. Mom shaming (and, really, all kids of bullying) often stem from ignorance and small-mindedness. Let’s be open and honest and supportive in our lives and maybe others will choose to join us. Great post Lexie!
~Jess
#FabFridayPost
Everyone always has an opinion on what someone else is doing and particularly what they are doing wrong. I don’t if that will ever change to be honest – it even goes on within families or at least it does in mine! Rise above it and ignore it is my motto.
Dropping by from #ablogginggoodtime
A very good question! I’ve always kind of wondered about this when I read posts about “needing to stop the mom shaming”. Ok, great. How? Sadly, as long as we put ourselves out there, it will probably never really end. And even if we don’t post our entire lives on the internet, there are always family and friends who may speak against one thing or another we do with our children. Parenting is just hard!
I think that everyone is so open with everything these days that everybody feels like they are in a position where they can judge. It does need to stop though – after all, we are all just winging it! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
If you rewind back a few years or decades before, there didn’t seem to be this big a problem of mom-shaming and that certainly has to do with the widespread of social media. Im sure moms judged each other, but they were more hush about it, as it’s not easy to say it to someone’s face, but way easier to type it into a screen and hide behind your device (especially to strangers).
I would love to say the easy answer is to avoid social media platforms, but I myself am a blogger who posts endlessly about my kids and parenting style. But bringing awareness to this problem is a start.
#fabfridaypost